escapedsnake911 (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
escapedsnake911) wrote2012-09-27 10:12 pm
escapedsnake911) wrote2012-09-27 10:12 pm
Kink Bingo: Fucking Machines
by: escapedsnake911
fandoms: The Mighty Boosh
kinks: Fucking Machines
title: A Night with Lolabelle
pairing: Howard/Vince (sort of)
rating: M
summary/preview: Vince has just the thing to help Howard cut loose.
content notes: None
“Vince, I don’t think this sort of thing is really in a groove with me. I’m not this crass, not this out there. I don’t expose my passions so freely.”
“This isn’t about exposing passions. This is about getting bummed. And it’s brilliant.”
Vince patted the shell of the machine fondly. Whenever Howard had seen pictures of these before, they had been skeletal structures of metal and silicone. But Vince had obviously done some alterations on this one. A plastic shell over the mechanisms was completely covered in rhinestones. The dildo sticking out of it was thin and curved, and covered in a shiny purple condom.
“I call her Lolabelle.”
“I call it madness.”
“Howard, you wanna get shagged without being touched. Unless you can find a bloke with a two foot cock who can stand on the other side of the room, this is your best bet.”
“I…alright. But it is merely for curiosity’s sake.”
“Tell that to your stiffy.”
Howard slowly began to disrobe, only to pause and glare at Vince.
“A little privacy, if you don’t mind.”
“How are you gonna turn it on?”
“Alright, but that doesn’t…wait, who turns it on for you?”
“Anyone who wants to. I just say to someone ‘hey, you wanna turn on my machine’ and they are all about that.”
“Your casual indecency aside, I’ll not have you watching me undress. How a man takes his clothes off is a private matter.”
Vince complied and faced the other direction while Howard shuffled his way out of his horribly unfashionable get up.
Howard felt raw and exposed, standing naked in Vince’s bedroom. He would have turned and ran just then, except that he needed this. His jazz was not flowing as it should be, not coming out of him hot and loose like it should be. All the best jazz music came from a place of passion, but he was locked up tight. Maybe this mechanical miracle could reach inside him, body and soul, and unleash that mad crazy music that was just waiting to get out.
He got on his hands and knees on the bed, bum sticking up in the air. He backed himself up towards the machine. This could not be that difficult.
“You better be using lube, mate, or Lola is gonna mess you up.”
“I knew that! Why would you think I wouldn’t know that? I am perfectly in the know about all of the goings on of the body. The mechanical mechanics of sex.”
He could just picture Vince smirking, as he sheepishly reached for the bottle from the bedside table. He squirted some on himself, some on the dildo, and coated the whole area for good measure.
Now it was time. He inched back until he felt the very tip of the condom-clad silicone touching his entrance.
And came immediately.
Vince turned around to see him in a sated pile on the bed, face pressed into the pillow and eyes glazed over.
“Howard, are you okay?”
“Vince, that was the most amazing experience I have ever had in my life.”
“I didn’t turn it on.”
“I feel like I am one with my very core sexuality.”
“I don’t even think you got it properly in.”
“I am a fully realized man now.”
“You’re mental, is what you are. And you better not be staining my bed sheets.”
fandoms: The Mighty Boosh
kinks: Fucking Machines
title: A Night with Lolabelle
pairing: Howard/Vince (sort of)
rating: M
summary/preview: Vince has just the thing to help Howard cut loose.
content notes: None
“Vince, I don’t think this sort of thing is really in a groove with me. I’m not this crass, not this out there. I don’t expose my passions so freely.”
“This isn’t about exposing passions. This is about getting bummed. And it’s brilliant.”
Vince patted the shell of the machine fondly. Whenever Howard had seen pictures of these before, they had been skeletal structures of metal and silicone. But Vince had obviously done some alterations on this one. A plastic shell over the mechanisms was completely covered in rhinestones. The dildo sticking out of it was thin and curved, and covered in a shiny purple condom.
“I call her Lolabelle.”
“I call it madness.”
“Howard, you wanna get shagged without being touched. Unless you can find a bloke with a two foot cock who can stand on the other side of the room, this is your best bet.”
“I…alright. But it is merely for curiosity’s sake.”
“Tell that to your stiffy.”
Howard slowly began to disrobe, only to pause and glare at Vince.
“A little privacy, if you don’t mind.”
“How are you gonna turn it on?”
“Alright, but that doesn’t…wait, who turns it on for you?”
“Anyone who wants to. I just say to someone ‘hey, you wanna turn on my machine’ and they are all about that.”
“Your casual indecency aside, I’ll not have you watching me undress. How a man takes his clothes off is a private matter.”
Vince complied and faced the other direction while Howard shuffled his way out of his horribly unfashionable get up.
Howard felt raw and exposed, standing naked in Vince’s bedroom. He would have turned and ran just then, except that he needed this. His jazz was not flowing as it should be, not coming out of him hot and loose like it should be. All the best jazz music came from a place of passion, but he was locked up tight. Maybe this mechanical miracle could reach inside him, body and soul, and unleash that mad crazy music that was just waiting to get out.
He got on his hands and knees on the bed, bum sticking up in the air. He backed himself up towards the machine. This could not be that difficult.
“You better be using lube, mate, or Lola is gonna mess you up.”
“I knew that! Why would you think I wouldn’t know that? I am perfectly in the know about all of the goings on of the body. The mechanical mechanics of sex.”
He could just picture Vince smirking, as he sheepishly reached for the bottle from the bedside table. He squirted some on himself, some on the dildo, and coated the whole area for good measure.
Now it was time. He inched back until he felt the very tip of the condom-clad silicone touching his entrance.
And came immediately.
Vince turned around to see him in a sated pile on the bed, face pressed into the pillow and eyes glazed over.
“Howard, are you okay?”
“Vince, that was the most amazing experience I have ever had in my life.”
“I didn’t turn it on.”
“I feel like I am one with my very core sexuality.”
“I don’t even think you got it properly in.”
“I am a fully realized man now.”
“You’re mental, is what you are. And you better not be staining my bed sheets.”