Kink Bingo: Genital Torture
Sep. 27th, 2012 11:05 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
escapedsnake911by: escapedsnake911
fandoms: Watchmen
kinks: Genital Torture
title: Unacceptable
pairing: Rorschach solo
rating: Hard M
summary/preview: Issues must be dealt with.
content notes: Extreme self harm, sexism, homophobia, transphobia
Prostitute outside apartment today. Troublesome. Open legged whore, inviting. Ready for anything. Literally asking for it.
Body betrayed me. Will can cease action, but not physical response. Disgusting, but wanted to touch her.
Issue needs to be dealt with.
Heat up instruments. Same things that made my face are able to remake my body.
Cauterization on the tip dulls sensation. Kills desire to touch. Still scabbed from last time. Would apply antibiotics, but that would mean more touching. Cannot afford to be sick, but cannot afford to be compromised.
This city is out to compromise me. Pimps and hookers on every corner, looking to draw good people.
Not good person. Neutral person. Close enough.
Have considered removal. Would make issue simpler. But too much risk. Cannot bleed out because of it. Cannot let it win.
Or worse. Get rid of it and nothing changes. Just physical symptom of mental flaw.
Besides, would look like a woman. Unacceptable.
Need to sleep. Don’t want to. It will follow into dreams. Nightmarescape of gaping vaginas surrounding me, wet, dark caverns to swallow men whole. And Kovacs, weak and sniveling, ready to dive in. To grunt and thrust and pant like a dog. Or a man.
Unacceptable.
Found discarded can of coffee other day. Enough caffeine to keep going. Do not need to give in to perversion. Rorschach is better than that. Always better.
Kovacs can be made to be.
Must look into removal techniques. Cannot change gait or detract from abilities. Any more than it does already. Surgery would be best option, but cannot have doctor asking questions. Recognizing my face.
Questions to be considered.
Prostitute is still outside, peddling filthy wares. Watch her.
Don’t want to.
Still do.
*
Saw Juspeczyk again. Wandering around with Manhattan, on his arm like ornamentation. Manhattan is clearly unaffected. Too removed for physical responses. Too removed for shame.
Had issues to deal with. String of disappearances. Could not think.
Remembered Juspeczyk in old costume. Yellow whore get-up. Completely unsuited to purported task. Not that she ever cared about the job. Didn’t even have a face.
Remembered her costume. Was distracted. Cannot happen again. Cannot.
Waste disposal still an issue. Cannot free self from mental poison, only to die from kidneys.
Must be done by a doctor.
*
Back alley doctor makes men into women. Disgusting, but necessary for the cause. Patient died of blood poisoning last year, doctor disposed of body. Makes for good leverage. Cannot afford to break this one’s fingers.
Will not be put completely under. Unsafe to be entirely unaware, even with face off. He uses just enough drugs to make it bearable, no more.
He winces when he sees previous work. Don’t know why. It’s his job.
With blurred eyes, watch as corrupt part is removed. Set aside into metal bowl, suddenly harmless.
He sews and reconstructs, leaves blank expanse. Not what he’s used to doing, he had said. Are you sure, he asked. Reminder of the dead tranny enough to keep him working.
Gives me medicine at the end, instructions on cleanliness. Wrinkles his nose at smell. Probably prefers the perfume of whores.
Hobble out, away from queer doctor. Feel stitches straining, but know that the pain is good. Clean pain, pure pain.
Prostitute outside apartment. Asks about limp, makes crude implication. Ignore her.
Still want to look.
fandoms: Watchmen
kinks: Genital Torture
title: Unacceptable
pairing: Rorschach solo
rating: Hard M
summary/preview: Issues must be dealt with.
content notes: Extreme self harm, sexism, homophobia, transphobia
Prostitute outside apartment today. Troublesome. Open legged whore, inviting. Ready for anything. Literally asking for it.
Body betrayed me. Will can cease action, but not physical response. Disgusting, but wanted to touch her.
Issue needs to be dealt with.
Heat up instruments. Same things that made my face are able to remake my body.
Cauterization on the tip dulls sensation. Kills desire to touch. Still scabbed from last time. Would apply antibiotics, but that would mean more touching. Cannot afford to be sick, but cannot afford to be compromised.
This city is out to compromise me. Pimps and hookers on every corner, looking to draw good people.
Not good person. Neutral person. Close enough.
Have considered removal. Would make issue simpler. But too much risk. Cannot bleed out because of it. Cannot let it win.
Or worse. Get rid of it and nothing changes. Just physical symptom of mental flaw.
Besides, would look like a woman. Unacceptable.
Need to sleep. Don’t want to. It will follow into dreams. Nightmarescape of gaping vaginas surrounding me, wet, dark caverns to swallow men whole. And Kovacs, weak and sniveling, ready to dive in. To grunt and thrust and pant like a dog. Or a man.
Unacceptable.
Found discarded can of coffee other day. Enough caffeine to keep going. Do not need to give in to perversion. Rorschach is better than that. Always better.
Kovacs can be made to be.
Must look into removal techniques. Cannot change gait or detract from abilities. Any more than it does already. Surgery would be best option, but cannot have doctor asking questions. Recognizing my face.
Questions to be considered.
Prostitute is still outside, peddling filthy wares. Watch her.
Don’t want to.
Still do.
*
Saw Juspeczyk again. Wandering around with Manhattan, on his arm like ornamentation. Manhattan is clearly unaffected. Too removed for physical responses. Too removed for shame.
Had issues to deal with. String of disappearances. Could not think.
Remembered Juspeczyk in old costume. Yellow whore get-up. Completely unsuited to purported task. Not that she ever cared about the job. Didn’t even have a face.
Remembered her costume. Was distracted. Cannot happen again. Cannot.
Waste disposal still an issue. Cannot free self from mental poison, only to die from kidneys.
Must be done by a doctor.
*
Back alley doctor makes men into women. Disgusting, but necessary for the cause. Patient died of blood poisoning last year, doctor disposed of body. Makes for good leverage. Cannot afford to break this one’s fingers.
Will not be put completely under. Unsafe to be entirely unaware, even with face off. He uses just enough drugs to make it bearable, no more.
He winces when he sees previous work. Don’t know why. It’s his job.
With blurred eyes, watch as corrupt part is removed. Set aside into metal bowl, suddenly harmless.
He sews and reconstructs, leaves blank expanse. Not what he’s used to doing, he had said. Are you sure, he asked. Reminder of the dead tranny enough to keep him working.
Gives me medicine at the end, instructions on cleanliness. Wrinkles his nose at smell. Probably prefers the perfume of whores.
Hobble out, away from queer doctor. Feel stitches straining, but know that the pain is good. Clean pain, pure pain.
Prostitute outside apartment. Asks about limp, makes crude implication. Ignore her.
Still want to look.
